If you’re living with a serious illness, your palliative care team is here to do many things. Among them: Manage your symptoms, coordinate with your other doctors, and help you make decisions that reflect your goals and values.
But first, they’ll need to get to know you. And like any strong relationship, that begins with communication.
As HopeHealth’s VP of Medical Staff and director of Complex Care Conversations training for clinicians, Jennifer Ritzau, MD, is an expert in exactly that. She has trained hundreds of healthcare professionals in how to improve their communication skills to take better care of patients.
Here, she explains some questions your palliative care team will likely ask you — and why.
> Ask about palliative care for you or a loved one.
1. What do you already know about your illness, and how are you managing day to day?
In addition to talking about treatments and test results, your palliative care team wants to hear your story.
“What do you already know about your illness? How is it affecting your life? Where do you get strength and support?” says Dr. Ritzau.
Sharing openly can feel vulnerable, but it gives your care team the insight they need to meet you where you are. After all, medical news is often hard to process the first time we hear it. Starting with what you already know (or think you know) ensures you’re not missing a crucial piece of information.
And it guarantees that you and your palliative care team are on the same page — not only about the facts of your illness, but about your feelings as the person who is living with it. That will help your team understand how to guide your care in a way that truly fits your needs.
> Read: Does palliative care mean someone is dying?
2. How do you want to hear new information?
Hearing news about a serious medical condition is never easy. Your palliative care team knows this, and they want to communicate in a way that feels respectful, clear and compassionate. That includes your personal preferences for how much detail you want, and when.
Some people want difficult news delivered directly and thoroughly, including hypothetical scenarios. Others prefer the short need-to-know-only version, focusing on the here and now. Some people don’t want to be told directly but are willing for a trusted family member or friend to know the news. It’s up to you.
“As your care team, we always want your permission before we share what we are seeing with your illness,” says Dr. Ritzau.
Thinking about how best to have new information presented helps you be ready if and when your palliative care team asks for your preferences. For example: how much detail you’d like, whether you want a loved one in the room, or if you need to take breaks. At any time, it’s okay to ask for information in smaller pieces or to say, “I’m not ready for more right now.”
> Clinicians, sign up: Complex Care Conversations: Communicating About Serious, Progressive Illness
3. What matters most to you?
Perhaps the most important question your palliative care team will ask is: What matters most to you right now?
It might be a personal passion project. It might be getting your pain or breathlessness under better control. It might be being well enough to attend a family milestone or enjoy your favorite hobby. Whatever your priorities are, sharing them helps your team shape care that supports those goals.
“When we know what matters most to you, we take that into consideration when we make recommendations for you,” says Dr. Ritzau.
For example, someone who is passionate about remaining independent might opt out of certain treatments if the side effects would limit their activities. Someone focused on living as long as possible may prioritize continuing treatment even when it’s difficult. Someone who is focused on comfort and spending time at home might choose differently (or not).
Your palliative care team can explain all of your options — and by getting to know you, they can also help you consider which is right for you.
> Read: Hospital, clinic, home: Understanding the settings of palliative care
What to keep in mind about communication with your palliative care team
Every serious illness journey is unique, but the good communication in palliative care is universal: listening, sharing information in ways that you find most helpful, and understanding what matters most.
“Palliative care provides an extra layer of support to you and your team as you live with a serious illness,” says Dr. Ritzau. “An important way we help is with open, honest and sensitive communication.”
“We want to get to know you, learn what’s important to you, and hear about your hopes and goals,” she adds. “We want to make sure you have the facts to make informed decisions. We want to make sure the care that you are receiving makes sense to you. Good communication is the essence of palliative care.”