In their final weeks together, Kara and her mom, Kathleen, sat side by side on the beach wall in Narragansett, watching the ocean. Kara was thinking out loud about her next grad school project, and the food business she eventually wanted to start. Her mom turned to her.
“She said, ‘Can you promise me something?’” Kara remembers. “’Whatever you want to do, even if it’s more money than you want to spend, can you just do it? Just spend it. Don’t wait.’”
Kara promised: Whatever she decided to do, she’d go all in. Today, her business, Charcuterie Kreations, is the result. And this Mother’s Day, she’s turning that promise into a tribute — not just to her mom, but the hospice team who cared for her at the end of life.
With every brunch platter that Charcuterie Kreations sells — inspired by her mom, “the queen of brunch” — Kara is giving customers the chance to donate one to the staff at HopeHealth.
“It’s my way of honoring my mom, and the people who cared so deeply for her during such a difficult time,” Kara says.
> Learn how to get started with hospice care.
“She was my best friend”
Kara is the classic eldest child: Dutiful, driven, a natural caretaker. She and her younger brother, Connor, shared the closest of connections with their mom.
“She was my best friend,” says Kara. “We were always together, always on the phone. She loved spending time with my brother and me.”
In November 2017, Kathleen was diagnosed with cancer. Kara was 24 years old at the time. For four years, not much changed: Her mom remained as full of life as ever, undergoing treatments while continuing to show up — through the pandemic — at her long-time job at Rhode Island Hospital’s kidney dialysis unit.
But in early 2022, things shifted. Kara noticed her mom slowing down. Other health issues emerged, and she was hospitalized. After that, she moved in with Kara, who continued working remotely so she could be her caregiver. Instead of waiting for their big wedding date a year away, Kara and her fiancé pulled together a small ceremony in just two weeks so Kathleen could be part of it.
“My mom and my dad gave me away. I wore my mom’s veil from 1989 — she loved that,” says Kara. “My mom wore this beautiful blue dress. She looked stunning.”
That summer, on the annual family trip to Narragansett, sitting on that beach wall, Kathleen made Kara promise she’d go all in on her business dreams. Then later, back at their vacation rental home, she had a fall. It happened out of nowhere. Kara felt like she’d been punched in the gut.
“I remember standing in the hallway, thinking to myself, what does this mean? What on earth does this mean?” Kara says. She called her mom’s trusted palliative care doctor, Dana Guyer, MD. Within a few hours, she, her brother and her mom were sitting in Dr. Guyer’s office.
“Dr. Guyer was so understanding. So gentle,” Kara recalls. “She said to my mom, ‘Listen, you’ve now fallen, your health has gone downhill. There aren’t many clinical trials that you would qualify for. I think we’ve reached the point when we need to consider something called hospice. It’s not about dying tomorrow. It’s about giving you comfort at the end.’”
All three of them agreed. That same night, a hospice nurse arrived at their vacation home to get things set up.
> Read: 5 reasons to start hospice sooner than you think
“Those were the moments when I was not alone”
In her final weeks, Kathleen affectionately referred to Kara’s house as her “bed and breakfast.” In between work Zooms and grad school, Kara prepared her mom’s meals, helped her with showering and other daily tasks, and welcomed the home hospice team who cared for her physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Thanks to the support of hospice, those precious days were filled with things that mattered most to Kathleen: family and work friends coming over for a meal or a cup of tea or to watch a movie. She was always surrounded by people she cared about.
Her home hospice team became part of that circle.
“My mom’s nurse, her chaplain, the social worker— they didn’t make her feel like just some patient. We felt like it was someone coming to hang out,” says Kara.
As much as this team was there for Kathleen, there were there for Kara. Being her mom’s caregiver meant the world to Kara — but it was also uncharted territory. It was scary. It was stressful. It could be lonely.
“You want to make sure you’re making the right decisions, representing your loved one, making sure they are dying with dignity. You feel such a sense of relief when HopeHealth walks in the door,” says Kara. “My mom’s nurse, April would be here four times a week, and in between we’d be texting or talking, I’d be asking questions I never thought I’d have to ask. There was always someone on the other end of the phone.”
“When HopeHealth was there with me or on the phone with me, those were the moments when I was not alone,” she adds.
> Read: Hospice program honors 92-year-old veteran for military service
“Hospice doesn’t mean the end. It means enjoy the time you have”
“It was my greatest privilege in life, taking care of my mom at the end,” says Kara. “It was a time I really got to know my mom. I had to fit in so many years and ask her so many questions. At the end, it put a whole new meaning on life.”
Today, her mom is woven into every part of her day-to-day life — including her business.
“If my mom were alive, I’d put her in a Charcuterie Kreations T-shirt and send her around with the cart,” says Kara. “She’d love everything about it — the creativity, the chance to bring people together.”
And she’d love the Mother’s Day tribute to HopeHealth.
“It’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it, but my mom’s hospice team was such a comfort to both of us. They were so extraordinary and compassionate during the most difficult time,” says Kara. “I’m doing this Mother’s Day promotion to say thank you. If my mom was here, I know it would be really meaningful to her too.”
“Before this, I was not familiar with hospice,” Kara adds. “Now I know: It doesn’t mean the end is tomorrow. It means you have to enjoy the time that you have. We wanted our mom to be comfortable, surrounded by the people she loved the most. We wanted her to get the best care. HopeHealth gave that to us.”
For hospice information and support, contact us at (844) 671-4673 or Information@HopeHealthCo.org.