Most family caregivers could dearly use some help, but struggle to ask for it. Even if you offer support — like a well-meaning “Is there anything I can do?” — they may not know how to answer.
“Often, caregivers can’t do that extra emotional work of telling you what they need,’” says Janet Isserlis, a caregiver and HopeHealth volunteer who co-facilitates caregiver support groups. “They may think, ‘I don’t know what I want, because it’s all so hard.’”
So if you know someone is a caregiver, and you want to make a difference, what do you do?
> Learn about all our caregiver support
The keys to supporting someone who’s a caregiver
“Caregiving is like that joke, ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time,’” says Janet. “As people who care about caregivers, we have a role to play.”
- Be proactive. Don’t wait for them to ask. Instead, reach out first.
- Be specific. Share one or two specific ways you’d love to help.
- Think small. This makes it easier for a caregiver to accept your support, and for you to show up.
“If it gives a caregiver a few minutes to journal, exercise, draw — whatever it is, it can really help,” says Janet.
Here are 25 ideas.
> Read: Caring for the caregiver: 10 signs of caregiver burnout
30 ideas for supporting the caregiver in your life
Around the house:
1. Meal help: Drop off a homemade or store-bought meal, or a gift card for takeout or a food delivery service like DoorDash (especially helpful if you’re not sure about food allergies).
2. Groceries: Offer to do their shopping, or help them set up online orders for delivery.
3. Errands around town: Pick up prescriptions, dry cleaning or pet supplies.
4. Yard work: Mow the lawn, rake leaves or water plants.
5. Cleaning: Wash dishes, fold laundry or offer to vacuum or dust.
6. Other household chores: Take over one routine task each week, like laundry, trash day or walking the dog.
7. Tech support: Set up phone reminders for their loved one’s medication schedule, troubleshoot their Wi-Fi, or simplify their calendar.
8. Paperwork: Create a filing system for bills or insurance forms, or help them navigate important legal documents for their loved one’s healthcare decisions.
The gift of time:
9. Respite for them, from you: Plan a weekly time when you can sit with their loved one, so the caregiver can run errands, take a walk or just rest.
10. Outside respite care: Organize a respite care visit through a local service or trusted sitter.
11. Babysitting: If there are kids in the household, take them on a fun outing for a few hours.
12. Transportation: Drive the caregiver, their loved one or other family members to appointments.
13. Overnight help: If their loved one needs care throughout the night, offer to take a shift.
14. Tough (or tedious) phone calls: Give the caregiver some time back by offering to make a tough call or wait on hold for a provider.
Emotional & social support:
15. Staying in: Caregiving can be lonely. Offer to bring over a puzzle, game or uplifting movie — or just yourself.
16. Invitations out: Even a short walk or quick coffee can help a caregiver reset.
17. Standing check-ins: Schedule a weekly text or call just to ask, “How are you doing?”
18. “Thinking of you” notes: No expectations of a response — just a reminder that they’re not alone.
19. Marking important dates: Help them celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and other special days.
20. Sit in on a medical appointment: As a second set of ears, a notetaker, or simply emotional support.
Self-care gifts & resources
21. Comfort items: Gift them a “just because” care package. Think: cozy socks, herbal tea, maybe even a weighted blanket or warm slippers.
22. Personal care services: Think about what might refresh the caregiver in your life — like a massage, manicure or yoga class.
23. A gift card to their favorite spot: It could be to a garden shop, art supply store, takeout restaurant — the possibilities are endless.
24. Free & low-cost mood-boosters: Drop off their favorite snack or fresh flowers, or send them a playlist of feel-good songs.
25. Support groups and resources: Do a little research on what’s available in their area. Without pressure, share that information for them to consider. If they live in HopeHealth’s service area, this may include HopeHealth’s many caregiver support groups.
> Read: From a caregiver: 10 tips for self-care
A final word on caregiver burnout
Over time, the nonstop stress of caregiving can take a serious toll on mental and physical health. To avoid that, the trick is to create regular breaks in a caregiver’s day, week and month.
Even small gestures make a big difference.
“Many caregivers are going through burnout, as well as waves of grief and anticipatory grief. It’s so important to remind them: ‘You’re not alone here,’” says Janet.
To join a Caregiver Support Group, email SupportGroups@HopeHealthCo.org or call (401) 415-4664.