When a child is approaching the end of life, every moment is a chance to make their space feel gentle, safe and filled with love. While families often intuitively know how to do this, it can also help to lean on pediatric hospice teams, who are trained in caring for kids in the final stage of illness.
“There are always ways to make a child feel more at ease, physically and emotionally. But there’s no single right way,” says Maureen Booth, a pediatric hospice nurse and RN case manager with HopeHealth. “It’s different for everyone.”
Here are ideas.
> Learn: What is pediatric hospice care, and how is it different for kids?
Surround them with things that feel like home
Whether a child is at home, in a hospital or inpatient hospice unit, familiar sensory comforts can make a big difference.
“Soft blankets, their favorite stuffed animal, clothes that smell like home — those things matter,” says Maureen. “It’s about touch, scent and the feeling of safety they bring.”
Even in clinical settings, hospice teams can help make the space feel personal and homey. One young boy loved Christmas, so his room at Hasbro Children’s (a HopeHealth partner) was transformed with lights and a tree. At the HopeHealth Hulitar Hospice Center, another child was greeted with superhero bedding to replace standard sheets and blankets.
“We want the room to feel like it belongs to the child,” Maureen says. “To feel like a kid’s room, not a clinical space.”
Let the child guide what brings them comfort
Children, even very young ones, often know what makes them feel better. For older children, simply asking what helps can go a long way. For younger ones, it’s about observing and following their lead.
“Even younger children have ways of showing us what they need,” says Maureen.
Sometimes, comfort might mean quiet time. Sometimes, it’s nursing, cuddling or just being close to a parent. One infant Maureen cared for was most relaxed while breastfeeding, even when he wasn’t eating much. “That was a comfort to him and his mom, so that’s what they did,” Maureen says.
Offer soothing touch, sound and stillness
Gentle, sensory experiences can ease both physical tension and emotional restlessness. For many children, massage, calming music and soft lighting can help.
“We have a pediatric massage therapist who visits some of our patients,” says Maureen. “She brings music playlists tailored to each child and uses slow, therapeutic touch. It’s peaceful.”
Other children find comfort simply being held, or having familiar items nearby. “Some of these blankets or stuffed animals, they’ve been loved so long they have a certain smell, a certain texture. That’s powerful,” Maureen says.
> Read: Music therapist eases pain for children in palliative care
Use legacy projects for connection & creative expression
If they’re able to participate, many children find comfort in creativity — like making hand molds, fingerprint charms, photo keepsakes or personalized artwork. Some families want to do these legacy projects on their own. Others lean on their pediatric hospice team for support.
These activities can bring a sense of play and expression — and often become cherished remembrance items.
“It’s another way for a child to feel seen and connected,” Maureen says. “That brings comfort, even without words.”
Give your child (and family) the space they need
While extended family may want to be present, too many visitors can overwhelm a child who’s tired, in pain or overstimulated. It can also be hard on parents, who often want space to just be with their child in their last moments.
If needed, pediatric hospice teams help families set boundaries in a way that’s easiest for everyone.
“Sometimes we’ll put a sign on the door that says, ‘Visits limited — please check in with the hospice nurse,’” Maureen says. “One family called me their bouncer, because I stood by the door to make sure they had privacy. It gave the child and parents the space they needed, without putting pressure on the parents to explain to friends and family.”
Make room for the moment to belong to them
At the end of life, even small details can carry deep meaning. When children can’t speak for themselves, families — with guidance from hospice — often find ways to honor who their child is and what brings them peace.
One family needed to travel across state lines to New York to fulfill their child’s spiritual wishes: a ceremony grounded in nature, in an outdoor space with special meaning. They had all their plans set for the following day, when the child’s condition suddenly declined.
“The family and our entire hospice team pulled together to get him there in time. He died peacefully, surrounded by what was most important to him,” says Maureen. “It was beautiful that we were able to give him that.”
> Read: A parade for Alex: How one town rallied for a boy in hospice care
There’s no checklist — just love, trust and presence
Ultimately, creating a comforting space for a seriously ill child isn’t about following any particular guidelines. It’s about tuning in, being present, and offering simple, deeply human comforts.
“We meet each child where they are,” Maureen says. “And we do whatever we can to help them feel safe, peaceful and surrounded by love.”